The title of this post is the message I would like to share with you. Stay hopeful. It DOES get easier. How do I know? I’ve lived it.
As I described in my first post, my teenage years and early 20’s were a bitch. Tumultuous with family, friends and relationships. But now? My life is completely different.
I started therapy at a time in my life when I REALLY needed it. I see a therapist and a medical psychologist. The mix of the two I find to be vital to my success. Currently I am on the following medications:
150mg Lamictal
.25mg Vraylar
and when I need it, 25mg of Seroquel to sleep.
I also attend therapy twice per week. I have done this for seven months. I’ve talked about attachment issues, confidence issues, abandonment issues, reactive behaviors.. everything under the Bipolar sun. The medication helping with my chemical imbalance and the therapy giving me healthy coping mechanisms are to thank for my success.
I now feel more confident than I ever have before. I am clear headed enough to be able to HEAR what someone is sharing with me rather than immediately jumping to a conclusion and becoming upset about it. I rest. I spend a great deal of time with my friends and always have a wonderful time. I understand the difference in healthy and unhealthy attachment to a partner. I am able to calm my own nerves rather than look to my partner to calm me. Do I still need emotional connection? Of course I do, but I no longer put that kind of pressure on my lover. I am calm, I am trusting, I listen, I no longer need another human to feel whole, I speak, I sleep, I exercise, I laugh, I respect appropriate boundaries – meaning I no longer feel pulled to continuously put myself in someones face so they won’t forget about me, I cry of course, but when it is an appropriate human emotion. Not because my partner said she wants to do something with her friends and I assume it means she doesn’t want me around.
Most of all, I FEEL incredible. I feel light on my feet. I feel like a whole person.
Let’s find that feeling for you.
With Kindness,
J
dearyleux.wordpress.com 